“That does not mean I hurt you any less.” He holds his gaze on Porthos, expression tired and pained. Even as a naive youth, Athos had understood how uncomfortable he made Porthos, even if he had not quite known why; now, it seems obvious, for every gesture he made, every word he spoke had reminded the man of those many foolish souls who had thought less of him through the years.

He nods in reply to Aramis, but then stops, regretting the apparent lie. He can’t get Thomas out of his head, that is the trouble, memories of him as a boy mixing with the thought of him bleeding on the floor. Finally sinking into his chair, he answers, “I will be."