“I have never had so much to lose with a single word.” Athos sounds rueful, feeling foolish now at what, for him, seems like a needless outburst. He has spent years perfectly a steadiness of mind that hides a more tumultuous core, and after weeks stripped of that maturity, he still struggles to reclaim it. Nothing feels quite right in his heart, but he knows he owes it to Aramis and Porthos to answer them honestly. Even if he is still not certain they truly want to hear it.
He pushes himself to sitting and takes the bottle, gaze flickering away from both men as he takes a drink. “That would be impossible,” he deadpans. Even setting aside literal fatherhood, Athos still cannot understand what a third father would be to a child. “But no,” he adds more seriously, "I do not wish to be a father to anyone.” He does not expect the sudden twist in his gut when he speaks the words aloud in such plain honesty - not because he has second thoughts, but because doing so reminds him of all he has lost.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2015-06-01 03:35 am (UTC)He pushes himself to sitting and takes the bottle, gaze flickering away from both men as he takes a drink. “That would be impossible,” he deadpans. Even setting aside literal fatherhood, Athos still cannot understand what a third father would be to a child. “But no,” he adds more seriously, "I do not wish to be a father to anyone.” He does not expect the sudden twist in his gut when he speaks the words aloud in such plain honesty - not because he has second thoughts, but because doing so reminds him of all he has lost.